The problem in the past has been that DDR2 memory outpaces the FSB bandwidth of the CPU. This is why it's said that the difference between DDR2 and DDR3 is negligible, and therefore not worth the price. Your RAM could be 8000MHz instead of 800MHz, but it won't help you if your FSB is only capable of a 10.6GB/s transfer rate which is already exceeded by 800MHz DDR2 RAM.
Now along comes Core i7. Instead of using an FSB, it has an integrated memory controller. Thus it is able to accomodate DDR3 transfer rates.
However, while synthetic benchmarks testing RAM bandwidth show huge gains using DDR3 with the Core i7, real world performance is largely unaffected. In some applications the reason is obvious. For instance, in gaming. Games are GPU dependent and rely on their own memory rather than the CPU and system memory. You wouldn't expect faster system memory to have much of an impact on gaming performance (and it doesn't).
One possible explanation is the memory timing. DDR3 is clocked higher, but the latency is also higher. Basically, when information is stored in the memory, latency is the amount of time (in cycles) required to locate the information so that it can be read or written to.
So, for example, the transfer rate between the CPU and RAM may be three times what was possible in a Core 2 CPU using DDR2, but because the latency is significantly higher, the actual amount of information transferred is effectively limited.
A synthetic benchmark testing the data transfer rate to the CPU would show that the DDR3 is MUCH faster than DDR2, unlike in tests with the Core 2 where it was limited by the FSB. However, it would not show the bottleneck due to latency at the RAM itself unless the test were designed to test latency (access time).
I suspect this may be only part of the picture. I honestly can't fully explain why DDR3 doesn't show great gains in performance as you might expect it to.
As for which CPU handles memory better? The Core i7 wins the comparison. But again, it's hard to make the claim that this contributes significantly to the i7's performance (which is superior to Phenom II).